Don’t even bother travelling to the States this year to see the Van Halen machine, stick to the UK and instead catch Steel Panther in action. They have the songs, the moves and even the skanky girls in attendance. What more could a self effacing rock fan want. Fuck dudes, they even throw in about 20 minutes of pure comedy gold for your £15 admission price.
Sure none of this is new, and it’s all been done before, but that can be said of almost every song written. Here’s a big but – Steel Panther have some of the best riffs this side of 1985, and that’s saying something. If this were 1985, Steel Panther would be one of the biggest bands on the planet. That said, they are certainly out for global domination in the 21st Century.
Playing to a rammed Academy 1, Steel Panther hit the stage to ‘Supersonic Sex Machine’, and with all guns blazing the Panther guys give the crowd all they’ve got, huge riffs courtesy of Satchel; a front man who I’m sure would turn some of the male audience gay in Michael ‘ Don’t call me Diamond Dave’ Starr; the prince of pound Stix Zadinia; and doing what he does best, and that’s looking good for the ladies all night long (just so he can put his penis in ladies vaginas-es!)…. Lexxi Foxxx.
‘Tomorrow Night’ my personal fave from Balls Out has a riff that all the bands that take the piss out of Steel Panther would kill their loved ones for. Its that awesome. After the first couple of songs that guys went straight into ‘Comedy’ mode, with loads of banter with themselves and the audience (that’s what makes a Steel Panther gig a cut above the rest, you are definitely a part of the whole experience). Out came the band introductions ‘He’s the best drummer in Steel Panther……Stix Zadinia! And so on.
The audience went ballistic for Fat Girl (Thar She Blows) and had everyone joining in. If you though this was loud, the excitement went way past eleven for ‘Asian Hooker’ and then ‘Just Like Tiger Woods’. Satchels solo spot was up next, and proved that this guy can play, incorporating Rimsky-Korsakov’s ‘Flight of the Bumblebee’ complete with blow job mimes. This guy can multi-task at a much higher level than us mere mortals.
‘G.O.L.D.D.I.G.G.I.N.G.W.H.O.R…….E!’ Read it like the chorus dudes, was up next and I still cant stop singing it even as I’m writing it up. Stix came down from his drum riser to play the piano on the ballad that is ‘Weenie Ride’ and proves that he can play an instrument other than the drums. The Manchester skanky whore ladies (their words not mine, OK mine also) were certainly in attendance, and the guys got a few of them on the stage for ‘Party All Day’, with one girl in particular who couldn’t keep her tits IN her basque top!
Last of the set list was the anthemic ‘Death To All But Metal’, the song which launched Steel Panther onto us a couple of years ago. Steel Panther left the stage all too soon, and encored with the auto biographical ‘Eatin’ Ain’t Cheatin’’ and the song they just had to play, ’17 Girls In A Row’, and after the show, they probably did.
Steel Panther are one of the hottest bands currently on tour, and as long as you’re not easily offended, you should really check them out, even if you don’t like your metal served up 80s style. They don’t need pyro to assist them, its just 80s cock rocking metal served with a smile and a huge helping of vulgarity. I fucking love this band!